XPH is Quitting Smoking for Obama- Day 1

I have 4 days off of work in a row.  (I'm a bartender- very stressful job when trying to quit smoking!)

I am very prepared:  My girlfriend (kirari) took all the cigarettes with her to work.  No car for the day.  Although there is a convenience store pretty close.

I've been up for over 5 hours and I haven't had one yet.  
Usually I've had close to a pack by now.

I have actually been writing this diary the whole time- in between my increasingly frequent pacing around the house.  Hehe.

Oh no, I am about to post it... ARGH!  No going back once it is.

Alright, its out there now, no going back...

First off:  this is being written by kirari's boyfriend, xph in Kos-land.  I have recently come to see why she has been a fan of DKos for such a long time.  I love the community and just joined a few days ago.  Since I do not have permission to post a diary yet, I decided to use my girlfriend's account... it doesn't bother her... much.  I hope it doesn't bother or offend anyone else in the community.

I have been a regular smoker for over 16 years now (I just turned 32).  I have been trying to quit for the past few years, with varying degrees of success.  Obviously, the main "degree" has been 0 since I am still a smoker.  Well, recently I have been very inspired by various factors, and I'm giving it a serious go.

First, a specific candidate.  I am more and more inspired by Barrack Obama every day.  His message of hope and change has truly gotten me excited (and I am jaded, skeptical, pessimistic... just ask kirari).  It started out small, mainly just excited about a fresh face and his great speaking abilities.  My excitement was building slowly during the primaries but reached a high afer Obama won Iowa.  I was so excited that, when he lost New Hampshire, he became the first candidate I have ever given money to (although I have volunteered for candidates in the past). And, hey, he's trying to quit smoking, too!  (I think.)

Its more than just Obama, though.  I haven't always been in the past, but I have been very excited about the Democratic primaries this time around.  An African-American, a Mexican-American, and a Woman all started out as quite viable candidates.  Although Richardson didn't inspire like many of us had hoped, his resume was one of the most impressive in the field (on either side).  The idea of him will be missed during the rest of the primary (even if, for many, he won't be).  If Obama doesn't win, I'll be more than happy (yes, even excited) to support Clinton or Edwards in the GE.

Most recently, I have been inspired and excited by the DKos community.  I have seen spirited debate about the candidates.  Sure, some of it goes over the top- but for the most part it is good, clean, honest debate among people that agree on many, many things in life.  I have learned more about specific issues, and seen that this community is a great place to do just that.  NYCeve and her battle for change in healthcare is the most glaring example that comes to mind- but I am sure examples abound.  

So this mix of things that have inspired me brings me to the real point of this diary.  In the past I have tried to use many different things to motivate me when I have tried to quit.  One such thing has been using the money I save to buy stuff- a new golf club, a book a week, video games, whatever.  This time, though, I am donating the money I save to Barrack Obama.  And that is something I can truly be motivated by!

So, I started a fundraising page on Obama's website.  Since I am quitting cold turkey- no aids- I figured I would donate $25 in place of the money I would have spent on gum/patches/pills/etc.  I will then donate $5 for every day that I don't smoke.  The plan:  every five days I will make another $25 donation.  

So, why am I writing a diary about this?  My first diary, even?  Actually, I'm not even patient enough to wait until Monday to use my own account to write a diary.  Why?

Because quitting smoking is hard as poop!  In recent years I have made it up to (and not really beyond) 1 week.  Brutal, miserable, painful 1 week stretches they were.  Or 1 day.  Or 3 days.  Or 4 hours.  Or 15 minutes (there have been lots of 15 to 30 minute stretches.)  Starting up again is so easy.  Just one, I think, and I'll "quit" again tomorrow.  Oh, hell, I've had one, might as well just go all out tonight.  Oh well, I smoked last night, I'll smoke the rest of the week and quit again Monday!  Ugh, ITS HARD!  And I hate it.

Now, if I tell a few thousand people that I am quitting, it already becomes a little bit easier.  But, if those people are similar-minded people, and I am tying my quitting into something a whole community cares about that effect is multiplied.  I believe the benefits of this diary are many:

1-  Selfish:  I am hoping it helps keep me motivated to do something I deeply, desperately want and need to do- quit smoking.

2-  Political:  It is putting a spin on donating.  (Hopefully, one that doesn't offend too many people.)  For me, this honestly is extra donation money.  The money I donate into the "Quit Smoking For Obama" fund is seperate from any that kirari and I give together (in a budgeted sense).  

3-  Inspiration:  Maybe just one other person will say, "Hey, I've been wanting to quit, too.  I'm going to quit with you."  Maybe some people that have quit in the past will pitch in a little to further my motivation- $1/day, $5/day, $10/week; any little bit will further my motivation.  Hopefully, this inspires someone to quit that wouldn't have, or to give money that hasn't yet.

So, here is MY FUNDRAISING PAGE.  

If anyone decides to quit with me, I will add your name to the fundraising page (unless you request that I do not).

Also, if anyone is inspired by this or just wants to help motivate me and others that may try to quit, but you don't want to donate to Obama- I will greatly respect dontations to the other "top two" candidates.

Finally, it is my intention to continue this for at least 4 weeks.  If John or Hillary become the party's nominee before that time is up, my personal funds not already given to Obama will go to that person.  Also, if there is a small response I will likely carry this over into the GE, regardless of the nominee.

Finally (maybe), one person at work has offered to donate $1 per day.  I was really excited that he agreed- after much prodding during our after-work beer.

Finally (NO I mean it this time!), I will use my xph account for the first comment (tip jar?).  

Thanks in a advance for your support!

*NOTE:  My brain is already getting mushy.  Don't know if this happens to any of you when you quit (have quit, try to quit, etc.) but my ability to think, write, drive, everything that requires a brain, just goes right out the window.  I am in stage 1 already :)  So, if this all just seems like a jumble of words and thoughts, that is why.